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A Long Fall

I have a belated prayer request. 

Last Wednesday, after receiving the news of Grandpa’s death, my family learned that my Uncle Darrell, who is married to my dad’s sister Adeline and farms in Northern Iowa, fell 27 feet while working in the barn on Tuesday night.  Initially, he was taken to the hospital in Fort Dodge; but the orthopedic surgeon was gone on vacation, so he was moved to Mercy Hospital in Des Moines.

Again, God’s careful and gracious orchestration of the events gave us cause to be thankful.  In spite of his long fall, Uncle Darrell did not hit his head or hurt his back; and because he had his cell phone with him, he was able to call my aunt for help.  Also, because we were already in the Des Moines area for Grandpa’s funeral, my parents and I were able to spend time with Darrell and Adeline in the hospital.  The surgery went well, and Uncle Darrell is making a good recovery – at least, it appeared so to me!  So as you pray for my family, please include my uncle and aunt in your prayers.  It will be a while before Darrell is fully recovered, and in the meantime, there are chores to do.  (Funny how that works.)

Love you, Uncle Darrell and Aunt Adeline!

 

 Uncle Darrell with Parker and Austin at the Wedding Celebration,
just a few days previous to the accident.

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The Perfect Answer

I’m not going to bother with build up.  Fred’s visa was denied.

The last question on Fred’s application (which we filled out months ago when we first made the appointment) asked if Fred was related to or engaged to anyone living in the U.S.  We paused in our progress, recognizing what such an answer could cost us; and indeed, it did. 

Fred’s engagment was the key issue – the only issue – during his interview. Very likely, if we had lied on his application, Fred would have recieved his visa; however, that is not really a plausible scenario, for as Fred said to me today, “There was no other choice; that was the answer.”

Thank you for your prayers.  Please do not be disappointed with the result or think them unaswered.  They were!!  And in the very best way possible – through God’s tremendous work of grace in our hearts. 

I am disappointed, and yes, I’ve cried (Fred has, too.); but we are not devestated or disillusioned by the consulate’s response.  God is still sovereign, and God is still good.  That has not changed.  Although we may have trouble seeing the answer through our earthly eyes, this answer is the best answer for Fred and my good; and we praise Him for His marvelous work of grace in our lives.

 

O Father, You are Sovereign
(to the tune of “The Church’s One Foundation”)

O Father, You are Sovereign
In all the worlds you made;
Your mighty word has spoken,
And light and life obeyed.
Your voice commands the seasons
And bound the ocean shore,
Sets stars within their courses
And still the tempest’s roar.

O Father, You are Sovereign
In all affairs of man;
No powers of death and darkness
Can thwart Your perfect plan.
All chance and change transcending,’
Supreme in time and space,
You hold your trusting children
Secure in Your embrace.

O Father, You are Sovereign,
Lord of human pain,
Transmuting earthly sorrows
To gold of heavenly gain.
All evil overruling
And none by Conqueror could,
Your love pursues its purpose -
Our soul’s eternal good.

O Father, You are Sovereign;
We see you dimly now,
But soon before Your triumph
Earth’s every knee shall bow.
With this glad hope before us
Our faith springs forth anew;
Our sovereign Lord and Savior,
We trust and worship You.

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“A Fish or a Scorpion”

(From Elisabeth Elliot’s These Strage Ashes: Is God Still in Charge? , p.124-7)

The events of the preceding day stayed vividly in my mind for a long time. It had been, I wrote to my parents, “the most nightmarish day of my life.” As we walked home in the rain from the graveyard, it seemed to me that everything was over. Although I could, by no stretch of the imagination, hold myself responsible for Macario’s murder, the enormity of it weighed me down almost as heavily as if I were guilty. It was another failure, somehow, a judgment on us and our work.

I went over and over in my mind how it had come to be that I was here at all, that Macario had been my colleague. The work we did together was the work to which each had been clearly called, had we not? I went back to the night in New Jersey when I had knelt in my room, asking for assurance that the call was God’s voice and not a figment of my own mind. It had seemed that He answered me through a Bible verse, “I the Lord have called thee and will hold thine hand.” I thought of those who had prayed for me and encouraged me in so many ways, I thought of all the sermons I had cringed under about the coldness of the churches and their disobedience to Christ’s commission, “Go ye.” I thought of all the times I had sung “Where He Leads Me, I Will Follow,” earnestly examining my soul for signs of insincerity or impurity of motive. I could not deny the reality of that call or the faithfulness of those who had supported me.

What of the work of the Colorado translation? Could I possibly doubt that this was God’s work? Was He, in fact, interested in the salvation of this jungle tribe, or was it only we three foreign women who were interested? Had I come here, leaving so much behind, on a fool’s errand? If this was how the Lord of Hosts looked after His servants and His glory, if this was a sample of how He answered prayers for His work and His workers, it certainly fit none of my categories. How was I to reconcile His permitting such a thing with my own understanding of the missionary task?

… As I look back on that time, I think it was Lesson One for me in the school of faith. That is, it was my first experience of having to bow down before that which I could not possibly explain. Usually we need not bow. We can simply ignore the unexplainable because we have other things to occupy our minds. We sweep it under the rug. We evade the questions.

Faith’s most severe tests come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith vain. If God were God, if He were omnipotent, if He had cared, would this have happened? Is this that I face now the ratification of my calling, the reward of obedience? One turns into the abyss. But in the abyss there is only blackness, no glimmer of light, no answering echo.

When I was sixteen years old, I copied in the back of my Bible a prayer of Betty Scott Stam’s, whose visit to our home when I was very small had made such a deep impression on me. Her prayer: ”Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all, utterly to thee to be thine forever. Fill me and seal me with thy Holy Spirit, use me as thou wilt, send me where thou wilt, work out thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.”

The cost, for her, was quite literally her life only a few years after she had prayed that prayer. I had never forgotten the picture on the font page of our newspaper of the Stams’ baby daughter being carried in a rice basket by a Chinese woman who had found her after her parents’ execution.

I went back to things like that prayer as I searched for meaning to Marcario’s death. Only God knew Marcario’s heart, and whether he was a martyr. For me there were other implications. I had promised to obey God, and I had known that that promise might lead to “tribulation.” I had prayed also for holiness, but this – this kind of “answer” – was startling and repugnant to me. I had desired God Himself and He had not only not given me what I asked for, He had snatched away what I had. I came to nothing, to emptiness.

… I felt like a son who had asked for a fish and been given a scorpion I had honestly (surely it was honestly?) desired God. I wanted to do His will.

… It was a long time before I came to the realization that it is in our acceptance of what is given that God gives Himself. Even the Son of God had to learn obedience by the things that He suffered. He had come for only one purpose: “Lo, I come, in the volume of this book it is written of me, to do thy will, O God.”

Amy Carmichael wrote: “But these strange ashes, Lord, this nothingness / This baffling sense of loss / Son, was the anguish of my stripping less / Upon the torturing cross?”

Each separate experience of individual stripping we may learn to accept as a fragment of the suffering Christ bore when He took it all. “Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” This grief, this sorrow, this total loss that empties my hands and breaks my heart, I may, if I will, accept, and by accepting it, I find in my hands something to offer. And so I give it back to Him, who in mysterious exchange gives Himself to me.

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40 (More) Days of Prayer

Yesterday was an important day for us.

It began a month ago when Fred was unexpectedly offered a temporary position with Mongeral Seguros e Providências.  Impressed with his work and attitude, the company created a new position for him to keep him on staff, and yesterday Fred was contracted as an administrative assistant.  This is a tremendous blessing as it will provide much needed income for us as a married couple.  Although Fred serves as the youth pastor for Igreja Batista Bíblica Maranata, it is a small church that cannot even afford to pay its the senior pastor.  The financial poverty of this economically depressed neighborhood mirrors the spiritual poverty present, which is why Fred and I are committed to serving in Edson Queiroz; and just as God proved Himself faithful to provide for us through this job offer, we believe He will continue to do so in the future.

From the moment we first learned of Fred’s job possibility a week ago, it affected our progress towards his visa.  In fact, it halted the visa process altogther since there was no point in requesting a visitor visa for Fred if he was not going to be able to take time off from work to travel to the U.S.  (And who gets a month of vacation after only four months of employment?)  Our calculated resolutions to the situation were bittersweet with both blessings and disappointments to be had regardless of the outcome; but we found God’s grace sufficient as we committed the situation, the participants and the result to the Lord. 

Even so, I was eager to learn the outcome as it would be a defining moment, one that influenced whether Fred or I started packing.  In a wonderful “abundantly more” answer to prayer, God proved that “the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord,” and Fred’s new employer agreed to an extended time off for his trip; but it wasn’t until we were filling out his visa application that Fred and I recognized the amazing providence of the Lord’s timing.  Thus far, the visa process has seemed needlessly slow; however, Fred’s new position is a great advantage as it provides a “pull” that ensures his return to Brazil, a significant concern for all visa requests to the U.S.

So it was with hearts full of blessing that Fred and I sat down together last night (via webcam) to fill out his application for a visitor visa; but our excitement was soon challenged by static, cut-off sentences and dropped telephone lines.  This was particularly frustrating as clear communication was essential to carefully answer each of the questions. 

Just one “wrong” answer on an application can have a detrimental effect on a visa request, including future ones!  (Believe it or not, one of the greatest counts against Fred and me is our engagment.)  Thus, in preparation, Fred and I sought much counsel from missionaries, friends, acquaintances – even a senator!  Based on their advice and our own experience, we carefully mapped out who would request Fred’s visa, who would provide surety for him, etc.  When we finally reached the last page of the application, I thought we were home free.  (Thought is the operative word in that sentence.)

Sometimes the Lord’s ways are mysterious and sometimes they’re not.  Nope, sometimes they’re like a punch in the nose, very obvious.  Last night was one of those times.  After agonizing over each question to provide truthful yet non-incriminating answer about the details concerning Fred’s trip, we reached Question #37 which asked directly and very specifically which, if any, of Fred’s family (including his fiancée) lived in or was a citizen of the United States.  There’s no subtle or diplomatic answer around that!

The Lord, of course, did this intentionally, not by changing the application right before our eyes, but through our ignorance that the question even existed on the application!  Our truthful answer to this question sends Fred into his interview with one strike - one very big strike – already against him.  As such, God has forced me to keep my expectation in Him. 

It’s hard to understand but visas are often times granted or denied on whims.  One’s visa experience depends almost entirely on the person handling it.  (For example, I have a definite preference when I go to the Federal Police in Fortaleza; the younger man who walks with a slight limp is much more friendly and helpful than the older, balding man with glasses and a mustache.)  The outcome of Fred’s visa request depends heavily upon those conducting his interview.  If they wake up on the wrong side of the bed that day, there’s little he can do, but that’s exactly where God’s power and sovereignty come into play.  As I mentioned earlier, “the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord.”  Although a man might verbalize the outcome, it is ultimately God who will decide whether or not Fred receives his visa.

And ultimately, regardless of the outcome, God will be glorified, which is His primary purpose.  Should God continue to open doors, it will be an amazing testimony to His power and control.  Should He shoose to close this one, He will still prove Himself mighty through His provision of grace and by His power to use this process as a tool of change and growth in our lives.  Perhaps some of you have grown with us.

With all that said, please continue praying with us for Fred’s visa.  His visa interview is scheduled for 10:00 AM on June 28 (45 days from today) in Recife.  We are asking God for a favorable outcome but ultimately we desire His will.  Please pray also for Fred’s protection on the way and during his stay.  Recife is located in Pernambuco, another state, and Fred will travel there by bus for his interview.  It will be a long trip, and safety is always an issue in Brazil. 

We decided that by the end of all of this process, we’re going to have so many significant dates and anniversaries to commemorate (How many times are we going to get married?) that we’ll end up celebrating the whole year round!  Maybe that’s not such a bad deal, after all!

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Almighty and Eternal God

Almighty and eternal God,
You are hidden from my sight:
You are beyond the understanding of my mind:
Your thoughts are not as my thoughts:
Your ways are past finding out.
Yet You have breathed Your Spirit into my life:
Yet You have formed my mind to seek You:
Yet You have inclined my heart to love You:
Yet You have made me restless for the rest that is in You:
Yet You have planted within me a hunger and thirst
      that makes me dissatisfied with all the joys of earth.

O You who alone know what lies before me this day, grant that in every hour of it I may stay close to You.  Let me be in the world, yet not of it.  Let me use this world without abusing it.  If I buy, let me be as though I possessed not.  If I have nothing, let me be as though possessing all things.  Let me today embark on no undertaking that is not in line with Your will for my life, nor shrink from any sacrifice which Your will may demand.  Suggest, direct, control every movement of my mind; for my Lord Christ’s sake.  Amen.

(John Baillie quote from A Life of Prayer by Paul Cedar)

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For What Is Your Life?

Oh, for more time to write… Internet connection would be nice, too. I’ve been house-sitting for the past two weeks, so once again, I find myself without web access. It’s not that I spend time surfing (Who has time for that anyway?), but I do try to keep up with my correspondence.  Try, of course, is the key word. Much has happened during the past few weeks (including a rousing bout with an overaggressive virus) that has triggered much thought and prayer.

Last weekend, in the midst of my house-sitting assignment, I managed to squeeze in another trip to Fortaleza for a wedding. Neto is a seminary student at SIBIMA and a good friend who loves English and music; so in addition to the song he sang to his bride, he asked two other missionaries and me to sing “Agnus Dei” in English. As most weddings, it was a fun and beautiful evening, but the real excitement happened the following night at mocidade (youth group).

Just before youth group began, two guys who attend fairly faithfully showed up in an apparent hurry. They talked with a few other teens, hopped back on their bikes and were gone. Contrary to their odd behavior, the youth meeting was quite ordinary with times of singing, bible reading and a devotional. There was a lot of noise outside, but that, too, is par for the course. Near the end of the devotional, however, cell phones started ringing, LOTS of them!

I should take a moment to explain about cell phones in Brazil because you might be wondering if this church is in such a depleted neighborhood, why the kids would have cell phones. The fact is that everybody in Brazil has a cell phone – everybody, including those who live in the favelas (slums). That is because NOT everybody has a land phone in their home. Often it is more expensive to have a fixed telephone than to a cell phone.

The majority of people have pre-pay plans, and they guard their precious minutes carefully. One way they do this is by using the “three-second rule.” If you call someone and talk for only three seconds, you’re not charged for that time. I have watched people call one another back and forth for fifteen minutes using this method. One calls and as soon as the other person answers, he speaks a phrase or a question and hangs up. A short time later, he gets a response in the same manner. Granted, it’s crazy, inefficient, and, in my opinion, a horrible method to communicate; but it saves them money they don’t have.

Anyway, to return to the story, phones started ringing. My first reaction was to wonder why so many had forgotten to turn off their cell phones, but as more and more received calls, it became obvious that something was going on. I soon learned what it was when Fred, the youth leader, closed the evening with prayer. Unbeknownst to me, just a few blocks away, a gang war had taken place during youth group, leaving one dead and very near it. Parents were calling to warn their children not to leave the church without an older teen or adult. Needless to say, no one lingered after youth group. Instead, we formed groups and escorted the adolescents and teens home.

Something else different about Brazil is that when there is a tragedy, people flock to the scene of the crime or accident; but no one offers help.  They are there only to gawk. There is no such thing as a police line, so the people are intermixed among the police. One of the boys from youth group lives on the very street where the fight took place; so to get to his home, we had to walk through the crowd, by the very corner where the crime occurred. The police had ordered the people home, of course, but the area was still full of spectators and reporters. As we entered his street, a wailing woman stumbled past us.

As I have mentioned in previous posts and prayer letters, Edson Queiroz is known to be a dangerous neighborhood full of thefts, drugs, prostitution, etc. in addition to gang wars. The two gangs have a long history, and there is a very definite diving line between the upper and lower parts of the neighborhood. A young man from the lower part came up and shot one from the upper level; but before he could run back to safety, a group of boys caught him. They beat him, knifed him and stoned him before the police arrived (who, by the way, have a permanent watch in the area because of such occurrences). Incredibly, the boy was still alive when taken to the hospital but died once there.

What never ceases to amaze is how quickly the life goes back to “normal” after such tragedies. The next morning as we drove through the neighborhood to church, people were out and about as usual: kids were playing in the streets; men were at the bars; women were conversing on the side of the road.

For those in church, however, the event was not so easily dismissed. The adults have been learning about the Ten Commandments in Sunday school, and ironically, Sunday’s lesson was on the sixth commandment: “You shall not murder” (Ex.20:13). Life is indeed precious and, although we often forget it, very fragile. How often we take tomorrow for granted. “For what is your life? It is eve a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’” (Js.4:14-15). And how important that we seek to accomplish the Lord’s will during our short time on earth for “it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” (Hb.9:27).

Please continue to pray for the ministry of Igreja Batista Bíblica Maranata. The people of Edson Queiroz face incredible challenges and pressures, but such difficulties merely expand the platform of opportunity for God to incredible things. Pray especially for those responsible for shepherding and caring for this small flock.

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory,
to be strengthened with might through His spirit in the inner man,
that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;
that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
may be able to comprehend with all the saints
what is the width and length and depth and height –
to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge;
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly
above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever.”
Ephesians 3:14-21

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